Hey y'all,

So I am still alive, for those of you wondering where I have been off to. I have been ignoring facebook for a really long time (to all of you who have me on facebook). So basically, it is like this; I finally got another job- full time, I started writing again, and am honestly going to try to get it published, no more "maybe I should" -NO, I want to and am going to be serious about it.

Last night I didn't sleep very well, in fact like- not at all, but I feel better this morning! I feel renewed and full of purpose; where I lacked it before... I spent the night finally letting myself grieve truly for the loss of a friend and for my grandmother, who both passed away this last year and a bit- and I let myself cry a good cry not only for them- but for my friends who I have lost over the years; and though I will always miss them, I know that I can begin to move on with my life. It really felt like I had finally let go of my regret and fear; and though I know there will be trials ahead for me, I am comforted by knowing that God- now holds them in his hand.

It is my goal now, as I move on, to save up money, write, and be open to whatever may be in store for me, as this year closes and the next begins. I have always struggled with changes; things that frighten me; and things that hurt me. For too long I have been ruled by my emotions- and let them halt me in continuing on with life; and although I will always be an emotional girl, I will not let it control me again. I have learned a lot about myself this year; and it is teaching me how to deal with the different circumstances and situations I am coming across this year.

My long term goal, is; to become a published author, and move to London. (which is why I am saving up now.) Next summer, my parents and I are considering letting a flat for a month or so in London, so we will see what happens from there. My mom and dad, are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this fall, and just got back from a trip to London, and told me I would love it there, they can't wait to go back with me, and I am excited about it

I have tried for a long time to control my life and make it go where and when I wanted it, but this makes for a stressful existence... and I am now taking what comes at me, with open arms- I know there is something that I am supposed to do with my life, but it is God who is in control of that- it was never for me to try to manage on my own.

And so, this girl, is alive, and feeling renewed in hope- and faith, and love. Until we speak again,

Jennifer.

p.s. I have changed my email address as the old hotmail account had problems and I could no longer receive email, so if you would like my new address, please let me know.